Playborhood - Mike’s Manifesto

The Problem

Mike’s Manifesto

Posted: 10/11/07 02:34 AM

When I think about my kids’ (boys, 3 and soon-to-be-born) futures, I’m terrified. I’m not terrified that they will have inferior educations or live in an unsafe world. I’m terrified that they won’t have very much fun.

To illustrate my point, take a moment to think of the ten best memories of your childhood before high school. Chances are, if you’re over 30, most of these memories involve playing outside your house with friends, not scheduled events with adults around. To jog your memory, I’ll offer my list from my childhood in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, PA in the 1960s and 70s, not in any particular order:

organizing and running a carnival w/ my friends for a Muscular Dystrophy charity in the Weiss’ backyard
stickball in the Bruces’ backyard w/ the neighborhood guys everyday one summer
building a tree house in the woods behind the Allens’ house and hanging out there w/ the guys one summer
hiking w/ the Weiss brothers in hip boots through the stream at their farm
my first hit in minor league baseball, a triple to deep center, after many games without swinging at all
seeing Pittsburgh Steelers’ home games with my dad, especially Franco Harris’ immaculate reception in 1972(!)
golfing with my dad on Sunday mornings
pickup softball and tag football in the street next to our house
pickup hoops and H-O-R-S-E on the court behind the Morrisons’ house
kill-the-guy-with-the-ball games, especially the one where the guys conspired to not tackle me on purpose, fooling me into thinking I had become the next O. J. Simpson

[Feel free to offer the best ten memories of your pre-high school childhood in comments!]

Now that you have your best ten memories in mind, ask yourself, how many of those are possible for your kids? For most American children, memories that involve unstructured play with no adults around are simply not possible today. For instance, I live in Palo Alto, CA, and I can tell you that for kids here, all but 5, 6, and 7 from my list are practically impossible.

Now you might say, of course, times have changed, so the American childhood today isn’t better or worse. It’s just different.

Yes, it’s different, but it’s worse, too. A whole lot worse. Sure, we had organized sports practices and games and piano lessons back then, just a lot fewer than kids have today. Would I trade all my kill-the-guy-with-the-ball games for Youth Soccer? Not on your life. One thing we didn’t have back then that kids have now are “playdates.” How about building a tree house and hanging out there all summer vs. a dozen “playdates?” Are you kidding?

Sad? I’d say so. Actually, I’m angry more than sad. In general, we have more money than our parents did, but for some reason, collectively as a society, we’ve chosen to create worse lives for our kids. That sucks. In fact, I just can’t accept it.

That’s why I’m writing this blog. I and others will try to show what’s wrong with the ultra-structured, adult-mediated American childhood of today. As we’ll argue, the negative effects of this go far beyond mere lack of fun. Because of this change in lifestyle, kids of today have fewer opportunities to develop social skills, leadership skills, and creativity, and they’re a heck of a lot fatter than we were.

More than just whining, though, we’ll explore solutions to this problem. I’m a five-time Silicon Valley entrepreneur, so chances are, you’ll see me take one of the solutions we propose here and try to make it happen. Stay tuned…

by Mike Lanza

24 comments

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Wow, Front Porch Forum sounds great!!! Perhaps we can do a story about it for Playborhood.

by Mike Lanza on 11/12/07 09:25 PM

When I was elementary age, my family’s house was the “playborhood!’ I grew up in a bit of Westchester suburb close that bordered the Bronx. It was sort of a no-man’s land, outside of the City but poor and disconnected from the places people associate with “Westchester.” My grandfather, a farmer from Mississippi, bought three contiguous plots in the early 1930s and put only one house on them. When he was raising his one kid, he operated a working farm, including livestock. By the 1970s when I lived there, the livestock were out, but my family did have a small field of corn, figs, grapes, roses, a barbecue area complete with picnic tables, a two-car garage with a long, enclosed driveway (great for roller skating) and two “mini-woods” of trees. My three sisters and I, the neighborhood kids, and our (friendly) dog could hang out there all day during the summer. My mother or grandmother could watch over us unobtrousively from the kitchen window.

by Barbara Saunders on 02/28/08 11:16 AM

Thank you Mike for sharing all of your important thoughts.

We recently had our first child and looking ahead, I definitely would like to offer him many of the simple pleasures and types of fun we had as children.

We were from a very average to just below average working class family but still had wonderful times. Having such a big financial advantage and greater freedom now, I would like to ensure that we don’t rob our children of the chances we had to have fun, and additionally, offer them more opportunities than we even had.

Some of my best memories are:

1. playing red rover in the backyard
2. going to family campgrounds in Myrtle Beach
3. going on day picnics at local conservation areas
4. playing board games with siblings and cousins
5. playing with our dog
6. playing with the kids next door - tag, soccer, etc.
7. going to McDonalds (happened about twice but never forgotten!)
8. trading hockey cards
9. building models
10. collecting stamps and coins

Many of us are truly blessed to have so much these days and unfortunately, many still struggle to find happiness and don’t share enough positive energy with their children.

Additionally, safety is a big issue these days in many communities and it is sad to see that this issue makes it much more of a challenge to offer the freedom we had to our children. Despite the challenges though, we can all do the right things to give our children a wonderful childhood.

Those are my only thoughts for now. Happy 2009 all!

by Len on 01/10/09 10:08 AM

We recently moved into Bellingham Cohousing, an intentional community here in Bellingham, Washington. Everyone who lives here has a desire to live in a harmonious, collaborative community. The children are safe and free to play together. It is basically recapturing old-style neighborhoods where everyone knew their neighbor. We love it! More importantly, our children love it!

There are Cohousing communities all over the country. You can find information about ours at http://www.bellcoho.com

It may be a practical solution for like-minded families.

Tom O’Leary

http://www.gamesweplayed.com

by Games We Played on 04/27/10 11:26 PM

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