On a family ski trip this past week I saw more clearly than ever that my two oldest boys, Marco (6-1/2) and Nico (3), have become best friends. Bosom buddies. Lifelong pals.
I wrote an article a year and a half ago about their relationship entitled Buddies for Life, but at that time, I could see their friendship just beginning. It’s gotten so much better since then.
They’re together practically every chance they get. They build forts together. They play with each other incessantly. They speak their own play language to each other. They crack each other up every time they ride together in our car. They have far more than a mere relationship of convenience – they really like each other. They both “get” what makes the other special. They make each other better (kinder, more fun, etc.) when they’re together.Sure, they argue sometimes and even fight occasionally, but they always make up and get back to being best friends very quickly. They realize how important their relationship is, so they never hold on to a bad feeling about each other for more than a minute or two.
Here are Marco and Nico dancing at the Menlo Park Farmers Market in summer 2010.
So why does this make me feel so good? I think all of us, at some deep level, want everyone we care about in our lives to get along well. Having been raised by parents who fought constantly, I probably feel that way even more than most people. Seeing my two oldest boys get along so well every day gives me an indescribably warm feeling. It fulfills my life. Seriously.
For them, their relationship brings many important benefits. They develop deep social skills that they can apply toward other friendships they make outside our family. They talk an awful lot to each other, so they’re developing strong oral communications skills.
Most importantly, every day, wherever they are, they have someone around with whom they can play and laugh. Imagine that – being assured that you can play and laugh every day.
Yes, it’s a very good life.